“Okay, you’re in charge of picking out the show”, I say to Ceren, our exchange student.
It’s been a hectic day and our family has just decided to cap off our day with a show.
“Let’s get everything done and meet at 9 pm”, my husband says.
A few hours later, with our daily work behind us, we gather in the living room to watch a show together.
“My friends in Turkey are talking about this Netflix series and say it’s really good. I think we should watch it”, Ceren says.
“Oh, it’s a Korean drama and it’s called the Squid Game”, she adds.
We settle into our spots on the couch and begin to watch.
And about 45 minutes into the first episode, we're all doing this!
Still, we decide to persevere and watch the entire series throughout the following weeks.
It’s a lot of everything:
Horror
Mistreatment
The Human Condition
Greed
Disturbing Events
A Dark Tale
Shortly into the series, I start to notice something.
Two of the main characters are very different in their approach of how to play the “Squid Game”.
The main character, Seong Gi-hun is likable. He smiles a lot and builds relationships easily. He is flawed, but you quickly find yourself rooting for him. Seong Gi-hun plays the game with heart. He takes risks (often carelessly) and genuinely cares about others. He is willing to work with others to win.
And there is Cho Sang-Woo. He is a highly educated man who was the pride of his hometown but sadly hasn’t lived up to his potential. He plays the game with strategy. He’s smart. He plans. He suppresses his feelings as a way to succeed.
Warmth and Competence.
These characters demonstrate our typical approach to life.
Think Type A or Type B personality.
It’s no surprise then, that these characters were chosen to represent humanity in this dystopian drama.
They show both sides of people. |
But here's the secret.
The fact is that we need both.
The closer you get to having equal parts of warmth and competence, the more influence, and presence you have with others.
Having a sense of how you show up and how you are wired to interact with the world is the first step. Once you can identify how you show up, you can start working to add in the other traits.
Do you feel invisible?
Nice but not taken seriously?
Overlooked?
Add competence.
Are you told you are intimidating?
Hard to approach?
Not relatable?
Add warmth.
Happily, understanding body language is a big help.
When you understand the nonverbal cues you are sending off, getting clear on adding warmth or competence cues becomes much easier.
Make sense?
It’s all about being balanced.
If you want to learn more, I’m here to help.
In the meantime, be prepared to see a lot of Squid Game costumes this Halloween!
Your co-pilot (who has just recovered from watching the Netflix series),
P.S.
What was your Squid Game takeaway?
I’d love to hear what resonated with you. I’d also like to unpack the last episode so please weigh in with your personal take on the show!