“Are you looking at me? Because it really feels like everyone is staring!”
Is it just me or have you had this similar internal dialogue during a Zoom call?
Ahhh, Zoom fatigue.
Ever wonder why you are so dazed and confused after you get off of your virtual calls?
Me, too. And happily, a group of researchers at Stanford did also.
Nonverbals don’t stop. They are constantly talking and that makes for a draining meeting because when we are on video conferencing calls, nonverbal cue overload often occurs when one substitutes virtual platforms for in-person interactions.
My “favorites”.
1. Stop staring at me.
When thrust into a sea of faces (how did the Brady Bunch make it look so fun?!), we often feel like we always have to be “on”. In the real world, we are able to deflect attention (hello, looking at our phones, staring at the flipchart or whiteboard, and jotting notes and doodling) during a meeting and very rarely have all eyes on us all of the time. During an online call, however, it often feels like eyes are on us full time!
According to Jeremy Bailenson, founding director of the Virtual Human Interaction Lab at Stanford University:
“The anxiety generated by a number of faces staring at you can be likened to the stresses of public speaking but amplified to a degree regardless of who is talking…From a perceptual standpoint, Zoom turns every participant on a call into a constant speaker smothered with eye gaze.”
MmmHmm.
(And don’t even get me started on the added pressure when a meeting or presentation is recorded.)
2. Proxemics
Said another way, how much space we give the other person. In-person conversations allow us to gauge our distance but online interactions, primarily one on one meetings, often have us feeling like our personal space is being invaded. Most of us need about 1.5 to 2 feet to feel like our “bubble” is being respected. When we are on our devices, this space often feels like it’s being violated because people are too close. A good rule to remember is to stay at least an arm’s length away from your device.
Oy!
(And don’t even get me started on the bad angles created when people have their device on their lap or at a height not equal to eye height.)
3. Mirror, mirror on the wall…
Being on a video call forces us to look at ourselves for long periods of time and that can be unnerving. A great analogy from the previously cited (and my new favorite researcher) Jeremy Bailenson:
“Imagine in the physical workplace, for the entirety of an 8-hr workday, an assistant followed you around with a handheld mirror, and for every single task you did and every conversation you had, they made sure you could see your own face in that mirror.”
It certainly can feel like that!
The research is still being done and gathered but my personal take is that if staring at ourselves all day hasn’t harmed our self-esteem, it certainly hasn’t improved it either! Constant self-evaluation is tough and most likely creates a negative effect on self-esteem. Let’s brace for the research findings, shall we?
Sigh.
(And don’t even get me started on when people use the video as a mirror to fix their hair and look.)
So what’s a person to do?!
We have options but these are my current solutions.
- Let me be like the stub end of a pencil—blunt. When you are talking, yes, people are looking at you. But when it’s not your turn, most likely people are focused on other people. Remember that it’s not all about you and try to give yourself some grace.
- Use a laptop riser or a stack of books or something to make your computer or device eye height. Looking up people’s noses is not fun and it often feels intimidating. Also look at the camera when speaking so that it simulates in-person eye contact. This takes practice but it does make a big difference.
- Once you have checked your look in the video frame, close your self-view window. Try not to use the default option of viewing yourself. Just like in real life, you don’t see yourself all of the time so get used to it on virtual calls as well.
Your turn! What are your challenges and solutions for dealing with Zoom fatigue?
Your co-pilot (who doesn’t want to get started about the limited number of steps achieved during a day after standing in front of a computer screen),
