In light of recent events, *ahem, I’m looking at you Andrew Cuomo*, I’ve decided to pull out my yellow, Stanley retractable tape measure and gently remind humans of the unspoken rules that we need to abide by.
Respect People's Need For Space.
The distance we need to feel comfortable around others varies, but for the most part, falls into the categories shown below.
Let's Talk About The Intimate Zone, Shall We?
The “Intimate Zone” is very close and is reserved for family, significant others, and really close friends. Entering this area requires permission from the other person and needs trust and comfort from the receiving person.
Individuals SHOULD NOT assume that entering this area is welcome, especially by people in powerful positions! When individuals are not on an equal level it becomes difficult to say anything should a breach of space occur.
Check out the Touch Map Below
Think:
Handshake (double if you really want to up the oxytocin)
Forearm or elbow
Upper arm or shoulder pat
(The higher up the arm you go, the more you need to know the person!)
Important Note.
The face and middle sections are “NO GO” sections of our body. This means that no one uninvited is allowed into these areas!
To gain access to these areas permission is needed.
Examples:
Dentist to patient:
“I’m ready to begin cleaning your teeth. Are you ready for me to begin?”
Caregiver to a client:
“It’s time for your bath now. When you are done with the washcloth, I’d like to help you touch up your face. Are you ready for me to help out?”
Don't Do This.
- Assume that you can hug someone without asking.
- Linger with your handshake (let go already!)
- Touch someone on their head or middle section without expressed permission (Andrew, “A pat on the stomach” is creepy)
Do this Instead.
If you want to build connection and rapport:
- Make sure you have a good handshake (check out my blog post, “Remember Handshakes?”)
- Make good eye contact.
- Show you are listening (see “Why I’m Nodding and Saying Umm-Hmm)
- Respect people’s space and personal bubble.
Follow the rules and don’t assume anything.
Your co-pilot (who feels squeamish about the whole face touching thing),
