Sometimes it feels like my soul is slowly leaving my body.
Sometimes it just puts me in a murderous mood.
But mostly it just makes me feel invisible.
You know, the times when others don’t acknowledge your presence?!
It’s the worst.
And I know it’s not just me.
A tale from the grocery store.
I was at the grocery store this week and the guy ahead of me in the checkout line was on his phone the entire time he checked out.
The entire time.
Talking loudly to his “friend” (air quotes because who knows who it was!).
Acting all cool and caszh.
And what moved this “interaction” (air quotes because there was none!) into the felony category was that not once did he make eye contact with the cashier, or smile at him, or give him the eyebrow flash, or nod, or in any way shape or form acknowledge that a human being was assisting him with his purchase.
Nope, he just kept on talking and looking at everything but the cashier.
Naturally, when it was my time at-bat, I looked the cashier in the eye and gave a cheery “Hi! How are you?”
Unsurprisingly the cashier looked at me and said, “Irritated. When people stay on their phones when checking out, my customer service goes waaaayyyyyy down”.
And ain’t that the truth!
It’s hard to be respectful when an interaction is one-sided.
My hunch is that the “rude guy on his phone” didn’t think twice about how his nonverbals were perceived. He had a call and gave no thought to the in-person interaction.
I’m here to gently remind you that nonverbals are powerful and we feel them just as we do words.
Our body language says a lot.
We rely on nonverbal cues 12 to 13x more than our verbal communication.
Don’t believe me?
Consider the eye roll. Or the sigh. Or a sarcastic tone.
If you are a customer and the person helping you uses one of the nonverbal cues, I guarantee you will defer to their body language over their verbal communication.
This leads me to your marching orders.
Make sure that everyone you are interacting with feels seen. It’s the little things that matter.
- A simple smile.
- A few words of acknowledgment.
- The eyebrow flash.
- A nod.
- Fully facing someone when speaking.
- Putting your phone down so that you can better connect.
Do it and see what happens when you take the time to intentionally show nonverbal respect.
And do me a favor and send me a note with your stories and responses.
I mean it’s the polite thing to do!
Your co-pilot (who is smiling sweetly at you with soft eyes),
