In October my mom passed away and we are still figuring out what to do. I mean, there are things like muddling through the Thanksgiving twice-baked mashed potato recipe she always made. And writing thank you’s (which was her specialty!), so who to turn to when writing sympathy thank you notes?
- My dad is going on walks, listening to “Hardcore History” classes, going hunting, and sharpening his cooking skills. But really he is just going through the motions.
- My sister is trying to do her job well, be a good partner, and parent two rescue greyhound dogs (one who is verrryyyy naughty!), but she’s just going through the motions.
- And, I’m trying to get a fledgling business off the ground, create useful and engaging content, parent my kids, be a good spouse, but really I’m just going through the motions.
A picture of my mom circa 1950. Isn’t she the cutest thing?!
Why do I have the haircut I do? It’s in my DNA and this picture of my mom proves it. I, however, insist on going to a hairdresser instead of cutting my own bangs!
We’ve all had times when we’ve been going through the motions. When we’ve:
- Started a new position and don’t really know what to do
- Been asked to give a presentation or a wedding toast and are terrified of public speaking
- Pitched a new idea
- Interviewed for a new job
- Been promoted to managing a team
- Moved to a new city…
We don’t really know what to do but we do it anyway. Imperfect action that moves us forward. And we learn and figure things out in the process.
When I first started learning about body language I did it to help me understand how to “behave” and put on my imaginary coat of armor. Trying out new skills felt completely awkward (like standing with my hands at my sides and out of my pockets, or just standing confidently). I was 100% going through the motions.
The thing about repetition and small repetitive acts of imperfect actions is that they compound and eventually turn into a new normal. It might not be a joy ride getting there, but somewhere on the journey, it starts to feel more comfortable. It starts to feel like you understand and know what you’re doing.
Life is a journey, my friend, and we all have moments where we are going through the motions. Faking it until we’re making it. One foot in front of the other until progress is made.
It’s what I lovingly coined the Pacman Process. This “scientific” process involves constantly gobbling up small bits of information that eventually leads to eating the huge dot which then provides superpowers. Wocca, wocca, wocca.
(I'm well aware that this analogy completely dates me!)
As in life, progression never goes in a straight line. We need to constantly push ourselves to learn and try new things. Growth requires many rounds of gobbling up the dots. If you are one of these individuals, I see you. Let’s connect.
Wocca, Wocca, Wocca.
Your co-pilot (who won the parent lottery and really misses her mom),
