“Well someone certainly turned on the like switch” my son wryly says as I walk up and greet my family after my tandem paragliding session.
“Yep”, I reply while matching his wry smile.
Our family spent the last week vacationing in California and one of the highlights included my husband and I splurging for a 20 minute tandem paragliding session in San Diego.
The paragliding sign indicated that the experience would be about 20 minutes and required that we give written permission in addition to doing a video recording authorizing the experience and stating that the ride could result in “ injury, paralysis, and/or death”.
And yet the line is long and the views are amazing.
So...
I look into the video camera and read the provided script giving verbal permission while doing my best newscaster impression (punching up words like death and paralysis) and mentally scrolling my mind about details of our will.
My name is called before my husband’s and I cheerfully bound down the hill to meet my tandem instructor.
“Hi, I’m Kristin! You must be Brandon”, I say through a toothy grin.
“Hi”, Brandon says flatly and immediately launches into the paragliding protocol.
This is not surprising since Brandon has been gliding guests around all morning, is hungry and is in no mood to make small talk with me.
This, of course, I perceive as a challenge.
I immediately decide that I will make Brandon like me.
Once we are safely off the cliff and paragliding above some breathtaking views, I attempt to “turn on the like switch” by asking interesting questions.
“I’d love to hear about the best paragliding experience you’ve ever had”, I say, breaking the silence.
Brandon talks about Mexico, thermo winds, and about being 16,000 feet high.
I build on this which leads to his interest in skydiving and his irrational fear of the plane and not the jumping part. We talk about windsurfing, my husband’s passion, and Brandon shares that he “made a fool” of himself while attempting the sport several summers ago. I laugh as he recounts the details.
We glide over some beautiful homes and Brandon points out Alicia Keys new home (20 million dollars and absolutely gorgeous!).
I oooo and ahhhh and tell him that I need to glean more intel than my husband on the homes, so he adds that one of the homes is owned by the family of Jeffery Epstein and that another of the homes is owned by a lawyer “who is a felon” and “did time” for paying people to wrongfully testify against others. He adds that he just learned this last bit of information this week.
“So my husband probably just heard about Alicia Keyes home”? I say.
“Probably”, Brandon affirms with a soft chuckle.
Our conversation is lively now and I eventually steer it back to Brandon and his life. When he indicates that this is his full time job I point out that being a “Tandem Paraglider Instructor” is a great conversation starter, he laughs.
Brandon mentions that he is hungry and says he will get a lunch break when we land but doesn’t turn in and instead makes three more loops before we head back.
The landing is perfect and I tell Brandon that he is a “delightful instructor”.
He replies, “And you are a delight as well”!
When I walk back up the hill, my husband and family are there to greet me. According to my husband, his ride ended 10 minutes prior. And he started after me.
I feel a bit smug because I know that my ability to connect with Brandon is the reason I got an extra 10 minutes of paragliding.
It might not seem like much, but it’s these little moments that make such a difference.
- Taking time to be interested in someone else.
- Asking questions that wake the other person’s brain up.
- Being genuinely curious about things and people.
- Following the other person’s cues.
All of these things make someone feel seen and heard. Even when they are hungry!
People skills are often overlooked as a “nice to have” yet they are a “must-have” if you wish to build relationships, network, influence, and get perks on a routine basis.
It’s why my kids tease me about the “like switch” (which, BTW, is a must-read book) and why I revel in making connections with others.
When you interact with others and show nonverbal respect while choosing to build connection and rapport, things tend to go well. Like the 8,642 times I’ve gotten hotel upgrades, discounts, late fees waived, extended grace periods, and longer turns.
Kindness
Respect
Interest
Body Language
=
Positive Things and Influence
Investing in people skills is life changing.
I mean, who knows what perk is waiting for you just around the corner!
Your co-pilot, (who is now obsessed with Alicia Keys, the Razor House),
P.S.
Interested in learning more about the secret sauce?
Understanding the foundation of nonverbal communication is IMPORTANT!
If the company you work for could use a little upgrading in the people skill department (because, you know, EMPLOYEE RETENTION), we should talk!