Whelp, (said while munching on my bowl of cereal) it just happened so I feel I must share.
“I really value connecting with other successful people like yourself on LinkedIn and build deep personal relationships on how to add value. I would love to set up a 20-minute virtual cup of coffee over zoom so we can get to know each other, connect and I would love to learn more about you and what you do and plans with life.”
All seemed professional and welcoming and I even got a courtesy reminder and the Zoom link sent 15 minutes prior to our meeting.
Everything was fine, that is, until I hopped on the call.
We exchanged pleasantries and I opened with, “Tell me more about yourself and what you do” because that is what one does in a reciprocal relationship–we ask about the other person! Unfortunately, this individual is new to the word reciprocal and didn’t get the memo on having an even exchange. I spent the next 20 minutes listening to him talk about himself without once asking me a thing.
I mean, come on!
Which is why I’m adding a Part 2 to nonverbal interruption. I hadn’t planned to share the 2.0 level of nonverbal interruption but given my latest encounter, I believe it’s the humane thing to do.
So if your back is up against the wall and you need to interrupt the Chatty Cathy you are talking to who hasn’t gotten the nonverbal hints you’ve thrown out there:
- The Fish
- The Bookmark
- The Pupil
See last weeks blog post “A Fish, A Bookmark, and A Pupil Walk Into a Bar…” post to get up to speed if you don’t know what I’m talking about)
You need to move to the advanced level.
4. The Touch
Disclaimer: I recognize we are still in a pandemic so only use this move with people in your inner bubble until it’s safe to use in the community.
Lightly touch the other person’s forearm of elbow to get their attention. Even the chattiest of people usually pause which is your cue to exit stage left by saying something like, “It was really great talking with you but I need to… (insert reason like “Catch Sally before she leaves” or “Pick up my kids”, etc). Lightly touching someone pulls them out of their soliloquy and grabs their attention since they’ve clearly missed your facial and nonverbal cues.
5. The Teacher
Warning: This last one is the concentrated formula and only should be used sparingly and when you are in a group situation.
If there are several people talking at once and you want to get their attention, hold one finger up while scanning the faces in the group. Picture a teacher standing in front of the class in this pose and saying “Class!” Nonverbally this means “Wait a minute” or “Shhh!” Make sure to be standing in a position where others can see you or all will be for naught.
6. Bonus Tip
If you’re with a person that is known to interrupt, try saying you have “3 points you’d like to make” while holding up 3 fingers. By doing this you are discouraging the other person from interrupting because you have nonverbally cued them to wait until your last point is made.
I hope you never need to use these but rather have the knowledge and know-how should the situation arise. A shout out again to my mentor Vanessa VanEdwards for identifying these ways to nonverbally interrupt.
Until next week, comrades!
Your co-pilot (who is still miffed by the Zoom call),
