"Pick me. Choose me. Love me."
-(Meredith Grey) Grey's Anatomy
The struggle is real.
We all want to be noticed.
We all want to belong.
But how to stand out in a sea of people?
I think my anxiety has heightened as the world begins to reopen. Last year I was tucked safely at home trying to figure out how to make a difference in the world while creating an online business and I forgot about All. Of. The. People. My head explodes when I think about “the population” and don’t even get me started on the panic-inducing digital world.
And yet, I want to be seen and heard.
Sally Field was lampooned in 1985 when she gave her acceptance speech at the Oscars and said:
“You like me. You really like me!”
Except that she didn’t really say that phrase.
The real line in her speech was,
“I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me.”
“The misquote is so sticky because it exemplifies a central human need… We all have a need to belong. Signs that others like, admire and love us are central to our well-being. But until very recently, we had no idea how the brain responds to these signs. Recent neuroimaging has changed that.”
And it wasn’t insecurity that was behind Sally’s infamous phrase; it was about acceptance and about her work.
We are wired to connect so being seen is a big deal.
Getting noticed and acknowledged is, too.
Words matter.
People matter.
The way we connect matters.
This is why I am here, standing before you like a friend with a Brandy Old Fashioned (Hello, I'm from Wisconsin!) in one hand, hand on my heart with the other saying...
You need to be relatable.
You need to build relationships with others.
People need to know you in order to trust you.
Understanding nonverbal communication is a pragmatic way to build empathy and connection. It is measurable and allows people skills to be built. When we can read body language cues, we can respond accordingly. We can build our observation muscles and begin to tap into empathy.
And empathy, it turns out, is a pretty big deal when it comes to leadership and being relatable.
I need to know you understand me before I care about helping you out.
I’m honored to be on this journey for human connection with you.
Please share a word or phrase that summarizes your current essence. I’d love to learn more about you.
For reals.
Your co-pilot (whose current phrase is “Channeling Mr. Rogers”),
