My mental math skills are WEAK.
Logistics and details are my actual undoing.
Excel spreadsheets make me break out in hives.
Repetitive tasks are torture.
Budgets make me cry.
This has been a gigantic concern for me since hard skills seem to pay the bills.
The hand I was dealt in life, however, was that of empathy, connection, and creativity which all can be filed under the category of soft skills. And true to my skill set, I’m known for being warm, friendly, and a good team player. Nice, but these abilities seem an unlikely way to pay the bills.
So I worked at a non-profit and received my emotional paycheck for 26 years. I made tons of friends and connections and loved the difference I made in people’s lives. I still do.
But then management at my nonprofit changed and ultimately my values were not in alignment. So I left.
What shocked me was the number of people that reached out offering to help or to connect me with a “lead.” None of it was a result of my hard skills (believe it or not I do have some!) but rather my soft skills. And in that moment I realized the power of people skills.
Call them what you like. Soft skills or people skills. Either way they are often viewed as a “nice to have” but not a “must have”. I’ve been told as much.
“People don’t have to like me, they just have to do their job,” said one of my previous colleagues.
I disagree.
These managers aren’t even getting close to the work and support they could be getting from their team. My personal experience has been that I work a lot harder for and give more to the leader or colleague that I like.
Think about the supervisors you’ve had and which ones you were willing to go the extra distance for–the one that used fear, intimidation, or status to get their goals accomplished or the one that made you feel seen, heard, and appreciated?
Fun Fact Time!
Chimpanzee vs. Bonobo
Alpha male chimpanzees rule by forcing the group into submission. Fights can be deadly and the alpha male uses his power to procreate more with the female chimpanzees.
Bonobos, on the other hand, don’t have an alpha male. Instead, the females form a group to prevent one bonobo from taking control. If a male uses aggression, the females refuse to mate with him. No bonobo has been known to kill another bonobo!
And what’s even more surprising, is the fact that most friendly bonobos have a lot more offspring than even the most powerful chimpanzee.
Mic drop.
I believe you can create career insurance by learning people skills. Relationships with co-workers are the biggest predictor of work-related happiness. It’s also interesting to note that the Australia Journal of Psychology found,
“The more well-liked you are, the more likely you are to keep your job.”
People value relationships, and how you make a person feel is critical in all areas– whether it’s working on a team or selling a product or service. As the adage goes,
“People do business with people they know, like, and trust.”
The takeaway message is that likability and people skills do matter. Even in nature, being friendly wins in the end.
Your co-pilot (who is considering starting a Bonobo Fan Club),
