Are you guilty of phubbing?
Let's talk about it.
First things first.
Do you know what phubbing is?
It's the word mash-up for "phone snubbing"
The definition goes something like this:
The habit of ignoring someone in front of you in favor of staring at your phone.
Can you relate?
My guess is you’ve “been there” about 32,491 times.
During any social interaction, from meeting new people, catching up with friends, or expressing your feelings to a partner (mission critical!) you need to show you are paying attention.
Since humans are hard-wired to connect, we quickly pick up when others aren’t giving us their full attention. Some of the most annoying situations include:
The person who…
- Constantly checks their phone or interrupts the conversation to read or respond to messages.
- Spends more time scrolling through their Instagram feed or watching videos than interacting with others, even when they’re in the same room!
- Keeps their phone on the table, responds to texts or calls, or takes selfies instead of focusing on the other person’s company and conversation.
- Is oblivious to their surroundings and does things like blocking the way by standing in the middle of the path while texting or taking selfies (my personal undoing!)
So what's a person to do?
Don't be part of the problem.
Use your nonverbal manners!
Do:
Show that you’re sincere, attentive, and empathetic.
Use your:
- Body to fully face someone when talking
- Eyebrows to convey surprise and engagement
- Your palms to show openness
- Your head to indicate agreement and interest
Don’t’:
- Turn your body away from others
- Overhead gaze
- Block with arms or objects
- BE ON YOUR PHONE ALL OF THE TIME!
And for the times when it happens?
Refrain from karate chopping the other person on the elbow and instead use your charm and wit to:
- Follow their gaze until they notice
- Be verbally direct-– “Oh, I’ll wait for you to finish”
- Pause until they notice and then continue on
- Reward positive behavior like flashing a smile or nodding encouragingly when receiving eye contact
Your co-pilot (whose phone is tucked away and giving you full attention),
P.S.
Okay, if you must use a snarky line, here are a few ideas:
- “I was just about to tell you the meaning of life, but I guess your phone has already figured it out.”
- “Sorry for being a human being who requires actual attention instead of just a ‘like’ on Instagram.”
- “Oh, excuse me, I didn’t realize I was interrupting your date with your phone.”
P.P.S.
What’s your nonverbal pet peeve?
I get balled up when I see customers phubbing service workers. Like last week when the guy in front of me in line was on his phone the entire time and didn’t once acknowledge the cashier.