Ever feel like you didn't get the memo?
Recently our family was vacationing and I used Uber for the first time *well aware of your silent judgment* causing me to experience the “memo moment”.
You know, when you are the only one who doesn't seem to know the unspoken social rules.
Our family of five piled into the XL Uber and I found myself situated in the far back seat. Our ride was completely silent and I kept hoping one of my family members up front would engage the driver in some conversation.
When we got out I exclaimed, “Well that was a quiet ride!” and was immediately rebuffed and told that you follow the driver’s lead.
“If they talk and ask questions you respond”, my son said matter-of-factly. “If they are quiet, so are you.”
Clearly, I didn’t know that rule.
I was also informed that you can pay extra for a quiet ride.
And I didn’t know that rule either.
And so it goes. There are many instances in life that have unwritten rules.
You know, etiquette things like:
- If someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. If they want to show you what’s next they’ll do it.
- When someone is nervous or shy in a social setting, do not point it out to them.
- Ask permission before petting a stranger’s dog.
- Step outside the room when taking a phone call.
- Unless the movie theater is crowded, do not sit right next to someone.
- Call to let someone know you will be late or are not going to show up for an appointment.
- When dining out, always thank your server
Soooo many unspoken rules.
And soooo many nonverbal communication challenges as well! Things like:
- Where do I put my hands while talking? When presenting?
- Is it okay to put my hands in my pockets?
- How much eye contact do I make? And how do I make eye contact on Zoom?
- Do I greet people on Zoom the same way I greet them in person?
- How can I appear competent? And friendly?
There are many unspoken rules so understanding and having a working knowledge of how nonverbal communication works is a game-changer.
It’s kind of like finding a secret decoder ring.
It allows you to have intel in real-time.
The fact that you are reading this and are considering these questions is a GINORMOUS sign you are aware of interpersonal intelligence and have a desire to leverage your communication skills positively.
Tip of the hat to you.
Your co-pilot (who wants to make sure you are “gettin’ the nonverbal memos”),
